So for as long as I can remember (2-4 weeks), I’ve been receiving phone calls daily from 888-327-8454. Sometimes they wake me up and get me out of bed. When I answer the phone, no one answers. The times I don’t pick up a phone, an automated voicemail is left. All those voicemails are from the same robot saying, “You need to update your Earthlink account. Please call 888-327-8454.”
There’s one problem with this. I don’t have an Earthlink account. I never did and I certainly never will in the future. And if I have my way, this post will encourage no one else to either.
So after a whole month of this nonsense I finally called 888-327-8454. Once again, I got a robot, except this one perpetually asked questions. As in, “What can I help you with?” “Do you have an existing account with us?” “Are you calling about service for your home or office?” “Please describe your billing question or issue?”
Unfortunately, Ms. Robot could not understand, “STOP CALLING ME!” And when I’d punch in 0, or verbally string out, “cuusstommerr serrrrvvice,” she’d scold me by saying, “In order to not waste your time [???], please specifically tell me what you need help with.” Retarded. Finally, I made up some other issue just so I’d get a customer representative.
I finally got one… a human being! Never mind that gauging from her thick accent, she was probably located at some “customer service” center in India. I explained to her that Earthlink needed to put my phone number on their do-not-call list. She couldn’t seem to understand that I did not—and never had—an account with them. This was evident when she asked me for my full name, and then for my father’s middle name. Yes, my father’s middle name!
“Now why is that important?” I asked, again explaining that I did not have an account with Earthlink.
“Are you receiving any bills from Earthlink?” the woman asked.
“NO,” I responded. I then explained that this was simply a matter of Earthlink having a wrong phone number, thinking that it was one of their existing customer’s.
She finally understood but talked at length about how Earthlink cares about my security and doesn’t want to waste my time. (Yah, right!) She then asked me if she could put me on hold “for a minute” so she could fill out a request form. So I put her on speakerphone and went to the bathroom while she put me on hold for three minutes. She then came back and assured me that her manager helped figure out what to do and that Earthlink will “certainly” stop calling me after another 30 days. Thirty days! So that is how much longer I have to potentially put up with this crap.
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